Limbo: A Dialogue

Photo from Unsplash taken by Greg Rakozy


Inspired by real events

Death: Boo!

Me:..

Death: *Evil Laugh*

Me: … Boo!

Death: Why are you not scared? 

Me: Why should I be scared?

Death: Because… everyone is?

Me: Not me

Death: Why?

Me: Because I don’t believe in fearing my fate

Death: Your fate is to die?

Me: Not to die, but to go through the cycle of life. It is not like I can stop it from happening, just like I can’t stop the birds from singing, I can’t stop the waves from crashing back into the sea, and just like I can’t stop a child from climbing and falling off a tree.

Death: Humph. You make me laugh, so many people pass by but it is rare that I hear something like that.

Me: Most people don’t think of it.

Death: They don’t. I don’t. Very few do but, most do not. But, if they did maybe, they would respond differently. 

Me: Maybe

Death: Why do most react the way they do? Such surprise at their own demise. Yet, it is the fate of all, I know it to be true. 

Me: Because most people don’t think about you, to them you are not relevant until their journey ends. By the time you arrive, people realize it is too late to do all the things they said they would do. It’s always pushed to later so why bother and by that time you get the best of what they had to offer.

Death: The best of what they had to offer?

Me: Yes! All their potential, all their dreams, and all their goals.

Death: You make me sound like a bad guy. Maybe I am.

Me: No!

Death: I am, look at me! I come with a smile, eager for those to tell me of their journeys, traveling miles. To see life through a million points of view but, I only know little to a few. That guy who says, “It’s time to go” time to move on, how can you say that’s a good guy?

Me: You are just like birth at the end of the day.

Death: Then who is? Who frames me in such a way?

Me: Fear, he stops us from everything, no matter how small. From love, to expression, and the moments we could have had it all.

Death: It all makes sense now, everyone arrives with their fears and wonders how? As though, I am the one who took it all away. Regret, sadness, all these things are nothing I wish to bestow on anyone.

Me: Maybe there will be a glimmer of hope and as time goes on, as humanity will find ways to cope. To enjoy the cycle of life and say “it wasn’t so bad.” 

Death: It is a bittersweet quality that those who have come by are not scared of fear. A satisfied life is all I wish to see rather than tears.

Me: We have a lot to catch up on in many years.

Death: I look forward to seeing you again, some day. What will you do with your time?

Me: While my journey is not clear, I hope it is filled with adventure, joy, cheer. 

Death: May your life be long and happy… now get out of here!

Utopia: Explained

Photo from Unsplash by Andrey Andreyev


Let us start with an exercise: First, you must close your eyes and clear your head of everything (very similar to meditation). Second, I want you to picture the most peaceful setting on the planet, it may be the mountains, a plain, a small town, or even a big city. Third, I want to think of the people in this peaceful place, how are they interacting with each other? How are they grouped? What are they talking about?. Fourth, I want you to think of outside factors, such as entertainment, social media, and political entities; how are they operating in a peaceful setting? Last, take everything that you just pictured and throw it all away.

For those who were not expecting the last part, I wanted you to imagine a perfect world for just a moment but to also realize that it was all in your head. There is nothing wrong with having a strong desire to have a perfect world, but, the truth is that we do not live in a world that can ever be perfect for everybody. There will always be dissatisfaction to some degree whether it be “The sky is too blue”, “These people chew too loud”, or “I want more money but don’t want to put in the work to get it.” It can very much go back to the classic Yin and Yang that is used in various forms of ancient Chinese philosophy. The idea that opposing forces must exist in some form of duality with one another; peace cannot exist without chaos, love cannot exist without hate, and light cannot exist without darkness. To put it simply, everything that exists in our world will always have an opposite even if you narrow it down to the smallest details. So, why did I title this Utopia: Explained?

Truthfully, I believe that anyone can create their ideal world and life if they really put their minds to it. You do not need to make the world perfect for EVERYONE, you need to make YOUR world perfect for yourself. Sounds a bit selfish? Let me ask you this, do you think everyone in this world cares if you disappeared or if something bad happens to you? Unfortunately, the answer is no but, that is perfectly fine. You were not born to please everyone but, you can however; please those who see the value in you as a person. You do not need a million people to love you, just a few. You do not need a fancy car or a mansion, you just need a simple house or apartment where you can bring the people who matter in your life into your world. The people who are there, the space you make for yourself, and the outside world you choose to surround yourself in whether it be a rural area or a big city, that is the utopia that you have been searching for.

Speaking for myself, I can honestly say that I have 2 or 3 friends that I can genuinely trust, I have family in my life that is encouraging and not toxic, and I WILL live in a place where I feel at peace (not there yet since moving is expensive). I stopped talking to people who cause problems in their own life, people who criticize my endeavors, and go places that make me feel at peace instead of in a mist of chaos AKA clubs, music festivals, etc. Not against the concept but, having been there and done that, I have no interest in that atmosphere anymore. Once you realize that the utopia you are so desperate to create is in your hands rather than tossing the ball to another person to get their input, only then can you truly live in that paradise that you dream to be at. 

Food for thought. 

Some Like It Red

Photo from Unsplash by Michèle Eckert


Once upon a time in New York City during the 1960s, there lived a young gay wolf named Rolf, who always dreamed about becoming a star. Growing up, he would often watch movies of Hollywood’s Golden Age such as The Wizard of Oz, Casablanca, and Pyscho. Audition after audition, Rolf would be rejected by casting directors who were seeking people to be in their movies. He was struggling, gave up everything to pursue his dream, even dropped out of high school to focus on only auditioning. That all changed the day he got hit by a limo that held one of Broadway’s biggest stars. It was Scarlet Hood although people would often refer to her as “Little Red.” She had stared on every Broadway production since she was a baby. She was one Rolf’s role models, he had seen every musical she was part of and knew every role that she had played. She came out of the limo furious! 

“What are you doing crossing the street when cars are clearly driving! The damn sign says not to walk for fucks sake!” 

“I…I…I…YOU’RE SCARLET HOOD!”

“Obviously! Now look at this you made me late for my audition for Sugar Granny’s Productions. This is suppose to be my breakthrough!” “Wait! Sugar Granny Productions! They are one of the biggest production companies in Hollywood today! You have an audition with them!?”

“Yes I do! This is my chance to get the lead role in the movie Babes in Toyland! Do you not know how important this is to me! I can finally stop performing on that stupid stage and have my face on the big screen! Now get out of the road before you make me more late then I already was!” 

“Wait! I have been trying to get someone to cast me and I could really use your help with getting a part in the movie, I’ll take anything even if Im an extra in the background!”

Little Red looked at him and smirked at Rolf’s desperate plea for help. All she could do was laugh in his face.

“You really think that you can make it to Hollywood? Im sorry, but you should just give up, you can’t compete with people like us. We were born gifted and if you haven’t even caught the attention of one person already, then why are you still trying?” 

And just like that she hopped into her limo and drove off to her audition. Rolf was heartbroken to hear one of his own role models tell him that he was untalented. His sadness quickly turned into anger and he sought to prove Little Red wrong. He followed her limo to Sugar Granny Productions to audition for the same role as she was going to. When he saw her go into the studio he headed towards the window to go and spy on her audition because he wanted to go in the minute she was finished. Rolf noticed how innocent she appeared while she performed her piece, eyes big, huge smile, an angelic voice. It was all an illusion. The moment she took her bow and thanked the casting directors, Rolf bursted through the window into the room. Slightly injured and desperate for the directors attention, He got up and presented himself. Little Red was flaming with anger. 

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!?” She said. 

Rolf completely ignored her and started to introduce himself until one of the older casting directors got up and approached him with a concerned look on her face. 

“Oh Sunny are you ok? You just came through the window as though you were being chased by the police.” 

“I’m fine! I’m here to audition for the same role as she did!” He said furiously pointing at Little Red.

“… Umm you do know that the role that she auditioned for was for a female? Right?”

“Yes, but I’m very much in touch with my feminine side! Trust me, the only reason my make up is messed up is because I crashed through that window!” 

A little confused and scared the casting director sat back down along side the other directors and let him continue his audition.

“Hello! My name is Rolf and I will be performing ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ from the classic Wizard of Oz!” 

The casting directors had some faith in him when he presented himself only to be disappointed by his off key singing and unnecessary interpretative dance. They could not tell if he was out of it from jumping through a window or that he was trying to portray a female. They eventually stopped him in the middle of his performance. A male casting director looked at him and shook his head. 

“I’m sorry, but you just do not fit what we are looking for in the role to be completely honest with you.” 

Rolf looked startled by the statement and started to tear up a little. Little Red began to burst out laughing. The older woman then got up and approached him once more.

“The role is going to Scarlet. She fits the criteria of what we are looking for in the film and I’m sorry, but we would also prefer a female.” 

“HAHA! I TOLD YOU! YOU NEVER HAD A CHANCE! ESPECIALLY GOING AGAINST A PERSON LIKE ME!” Little Red said as she continued to laugh and brag about herself. 

Rolf became so overwhelmed by Little Red and the casting directors that it finally happened. He cracked. He pulled out his gun in his bag in case of emergencies and aimed at Little Red. She stopped her laughing and looked horrified along with the directors. 

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?” 

“YOU ALWAYS SAID YOU WERE THE STAR! NOW IM GOING TO OFFICIALLY MAKE YOU ONE!”

Without a moments notice, Rolf shot Little Red in the face and she died instantly. The directors screamed and called the cops immediately. The police showed up quickly and took Rolf away. He was then sentenced to life in prison for first degree murder of Little Red. Before he was taken away they asked if he had any last words for his actions. He simply said.

“I just wanted to be a star…”

MORAL:

Don’t let failing go to your heart,

And don’t let success go to your head.

The End.

The Starving Creative

Photo from Unsplash by Austin Chan


This needs to be said; we are living in a day and age where we have no creativity, no originality, we are living in a day and age where creatives are being rejected if they do not spew the same propaganda. Its is usually, same story, different character, and that is it. Do not get me wrong, it is amazing to see people of different backgrounds on tv, in movies, and in books; however, we are solely relying on obvious features of a person to connect with them rather than, uniquely distinct character traits that makes anyone special.

We went from creating things like The Matrix, Gattaca, Black Swan, and other incredible movies and books alike to repeating the same messages of doom and gloom whether it be a constant reminder of how different you are or how you need to be scared at every waking minute because you can die. That is not what a creative is, that’s what a propagandist is. The exact definition coming from the dictionary is “a person who promotes or publicizes a particular organization or cause (Oxford Languages)”. We have seen this in the classic sense of newspaper and magazine cartoons which is completely fine but, with recent world events we see it in every part of our lives. We need people to come forward and start seeing worlds and ideas that are beyond our known reality. You know what happens when you do that? You are able to create culture, you are able to bring people together, and you become a great contribution that mankind can look back on and still talk about.

Some of the most incredible creators such as Prince, Selena, Langston Hughes, Emily Dickinson, Marilyn Monroe, Sade, and so many others that I cannot think of at the moment have left a mark in society that new creators can come back to for inspiration. Now everything is just a simple reboot, reboot, reboot. Why? Because it is easier to just use concepts that have been used before and just adjust them to modern day standards. I am so bored seeing the same things, how many times can you remake something? People are being sedated in a sense with this mediocracy, giving them the same pill just a different color. I must say and do apologize to my young audiences, F**K THAT!

Frankly, I am going to create the things that I want and explore the things that I find fascinating like different personality types, space, adventure and make something original, make something fun!

If you are someone with a new creative idea or concept, I am telling you now, go for it! You have nothing to lose, we are living in an age where any dream is possible, mind you it is hard work like no other but, I would not be writing this to you if I did not believe you could do it. You want to make a comic book? Watch videos, contact people who have done it, and work hard like no other. The same goes for singers, download BandLab and get to work, if you are an artist, learn how to expand and go outside of your comfort zone for inspiration. Go back to the Golden Ages of creativity, because it starts with people having the balls to form our interpretations of the world around us. I may not know you but, I believe in you, be brave! Because you know what happens when you are brave, you bring hope, that hope is shown through your work, and when you create something that is inspiring, you are able to heal the world of despair by giving them a light at the end of the tunnel. 

Creativity is the cure to stale tasting world.

Photo from Unsplash by Bamagal

Speaking My Language

Photo from Unsplash by Ehimetalor Akhere Unuabona


Despite the fast paced changes of society in recent years, that can be seen as both negative and positive; there is something to be excited about: the race to space. 

For years, the space industry has been focused on researching and understanding different galaxies beyond our universe. However, as of recently we are seeing a rise in interest to travel into space by both the private and government sectors. Elon Musk is trying to build the first successful space colony on Mars with flight tickets going out in late 2026 (subject to change check the website for all updates). NASA is currently working on a project to land the first woman on the moon and is hoping to make space tourism sustainable by the year 2028. While these are all exciting goals for mankind to look forward to, we tend to forget about possible encounters with different species and the potential barriers; to be more specific, understanding what the hell they are saying half the time. 

Language is a very complex system that human beings have used for years to help us communicate our inner thoughts. So much so that we have over 300 languages spoken today and approximately half of the population can speak two or more languages. With that in mind, who is to say that we are prepared to communicate with them? Who is to say that there are not any alien languages that we will all have to understand in order to join the ranks of space? We have seen in history that language barriers have caused problems in society, we may end up repeating history in a different environment if we are not careful. We have seen this in the past with numerous historic examples such as European expansion into the Americas, Africa, and Asia. The language barrier was a major key factor for colonization and while we as a species have managed to move past this and have become more open to understanding the language of others, we do often still have issues understanding one another especially in this day and age with numerous mediums. 

If anything, we can state that this is a time for us to improve our language and communication skills amongst each other as mankind prepares for our next giant step into the stars. 

Luna, Yes! Luna, ¡Sí! Anniversary Celebration

Luna Yes Luna Si

Luna, Yes! Luna, ¡Si! Cover


To help fight off imposter syndrome, I am going to be hosting a celebration in honor of the Luna, Yes! Luna, ¡Si! Anniversary I want to host a Q&A for those who have any questions about the book, the future of the book, and all future endeavors! 

Due to the pandemic last year, the anniversary celebration was delayed so please join us on July 25th to celebrate the Luna, Yes! Luna, ¡Si! Anniversary on Instagram and fill out the questionnaire which is linked down below!

Luna, Yes! Luna, ¡Si! Questionnaire

Thank you for all the support!

17 Lessons at 25

Photo from Unsplash by Toa Heftiba


Due to my utter neglect of my website and turning 25, I will start off my new year going around the Earth with the lessons that I have learned (again you don’t have to take my advice, do whatever you want, I am just some chick on the internet)

  1. Emotional Intelligence is Key

This is something that is a day by day skill to build on, what is worth my emotional well-being? Will the reaction that I give matter or make an impact in the situation that I am presented with? Why do I feel the way I do? Is there a bigger meaning behind this? Instead, I am going to take a moment to feel my emotional response and then better understand it before I feel the need to do something.

  1. Laugh at Yourself More

Honestly, life is too short to not laugh enough at everything. We all mess up, we all don’t get it right all the time, and we all fall down. The best way to handle it, is to laugh it off and move on because that was the past and now you can move on and enjoy the present. 

  1. Failure Doesn’t Mean That I am a Failure

This was one of the hardest things to accept in a world that is so often consumed with perfectionism. If you don’t know something, you don’t do something right the first time around, then by default I shouldn’t bother anymore. This just leads to not learning or trying to become better at a craft. I am taking my time to write a book series rather than pump out book by book to make bank. I want to be a better writer little by little and the same goes for anything else I do. When I first started fencing in college, I will be honest, I was horrible and was lucky to win a match but, through hard work and determination, I managed to win 12 out 15 matches by my senior year. I also tried to make a vintage shop at some point but realized I did not have the passion to continue it, I just like clothes! Failure is the stepping stone to discover how much you are willing to commit to something to become better. (Check out my article The Ballerina Paradox for more info)

  1. The World Owes Me Nothing

This is a controversial one… but it has to be said. A lot of people walk around with this entitlement that because they went to university, they were top in their class, or that they have a million followers that they should be given everything they want on the spot. The truth is life is unfair, I will not argue that but, you can either walk around having a tantrum for the rest of your life or try to make your own situation better through education, becoming an autodidact, asking for help when you need it. The only thing you owe yourself is to become the best version of yourself by whatever means possible. 

  1. Someone Will Always Have Something I want, and I will Always Have Something That Someone Else Wants

Need me say more? Everyone likes to throw the term privilege around all too much and often look at the things they don’t have and lack appreciation for the things that they do have. It’s a normal feeling to have some kind of envy but, remember the things that you do have that have helped you thus far because there is at least someone out there that would kill to have what you have. 

  1. Self-Discipline Sucks… But it is Worth It

*sigh* This is part of being an adult and how you know that you are transitioning from dumb adolecence to adult. We can’t indulge and have fun all the time even though we all wish we could. Realizing time management and when to have fun and go to grind sounds like common sense but, trust me, it’s hard. I would love to stay up all night watching YouTube, video chatting with my friends, or playing video games but, I need to get 7-8 hours of sleep to function better so not tonight. If you need to find a better night time routine, find the things that make you calm and relaxed like ASMR, reading a book, listening to rain, or letting oils make the room more relaxing. In general, please try to know when to say no to things you REALLY want to do.   

  1. Moving Forward Means Leaving the Past Behind 

This is one of the most emotional lessons. Coming from a generation that emphasised how we need to keep everyone in our life no matter what because family, friends, and romantic relationships are everything. However, sometimes as you are growing up and trying to be a better version of yourself, the people used to associate grow toxic. Growing means leaving bad habits, bad behaviors behind and sometimes the people you care about dont want to let them go. Let them go, maybe your absence will help them start to grow, and you can find a way back to each other again. You come first. 

  1. It’s not that I don’t have Enough Time, I have a Limited Amount of Time

tImE Is A sOcIAl CoNStruCt, I had to do it, but it is true. At the end of the day, the universe will go on and on forever with or without the human race. We as people only have a certain amount of years on Earth, we all will die eventually, however; the circumstances of our death are unknown. We don’t know when, where, and how we will die, but acknowledging the inevitable helps drive the desire to live.  

  1. Don’t Follow the Crowd, Dare to Stand Out

In the age of internet culture, it often feels like you are seeing the same thing over and over again until you feel your brain go numb. I used to share things because everyone was saying the same thing rather than researching or questioning the things that I was seeing. I was blindly following something because everyone else was doing it. Now, I realized that just because something is wildly popular doesn’t mean that I have to go along with it, I should know myself and explore different ideas and concepts to keep my mind open and constantly gain new knowledge.

  1. Books are Better Than Social Media

Ever since the new year, I have given up a large amount of time that I use to spend on social media reading different books ranging from philosophy to financial literacy. To be honest, I never really knew how to use social media. When you are given a good book and some quiet time, it lets you sit and take in the information rather than being hit with something every 5 seconds on social media. Take some time away from the constant information or glamour of social media to just read a book.

  1. “All the World’s a Stage and All Men and Women are Merely Players”

Quoted by the famous William Shakespeare and ties into the previous point which is to take time away from social media because most of it is fake. What started as a source to post funny and random things has escalated to a platform to show how amazing your life is and brag about yourself. If people don’t get a like, share, or follow someone when they post something, they don’t have the justification of what they believed they are and it can damage their self-esteem. Most of the time it’s a show and not reality, with all honesty, I would not have social media if it wasn’t for connecting with people in my field and friends I have abroad. Now, I have made social media a casual mode of promoting things that I do and trying to post relatable things to not be dependent on it for my own emotional health. 

  1. Comfort Kills Ambition

One of my favorite phrases is also from an interview I did (link here). There is a reason the comfort zone exists, you retreat there when you need to recharge your battery. Leaving the comfort zone exposes you to new possibilities, interests, ideas, and experiences. While at times it can be very uncomfortable that is usually the biggest sign of growth. I have lived in a few different places in the world and each place has had its own pros and cons, however; I do not have any regrets from those experiences because I grew as a person. Don’t be afraid to take the chance on the scary decision. 

  1. Your Parents Weren’t Superheroes But, They Tried To Be

This was pretty hard to cope with; the reality is that being a parent is playing this God-like role of making a child see life through this rose colored lens while carrying all the anxiety of the world on your shoulders so your child doesn’t have to deal with it. You can feel the change once you realize that your parents were just human beings like you; trying to do their best everyday. However, it can make you appreciate the things that they did for you because whether it be mental and financial, they did struggle at some point to keep a smile on your face. 

  1. Not Every Problem in the World is Yours and That’s Fine, Just Be a Good Person

While most people can agree on basic moral values, we all can’t solve every problem in the world. There will always be something wrong because we live in a perfectly imperfect world, there will always be a problem or some dramatic event that will stir the pot. The best thing I can do in the end is try to be the best version of myself and focus on those who are directly linked to me and how I can impact their lives. 

  1. Write it Down so You Never Forget

This is just a simple tip from someone who journals a lot, it’s always great to record your thoughts, ideas, and plans so you have an easy place to access something if you forget it. We all forget things every now and then, to give yourself less anxiety or regret, just write it down; make your life easier. 

  1. Drama is For Nerds

Drama at this point is for people who study a situation with the same energy levels they should have for any test they have in class. If something doesn’t involve you directly, just stay away from it, it is not worth it, save your energy for better things that will benefit you in the future. 

  1. Take What Makes You Insecure and Make it Your Bitch 

This is a phrase that I have been living by to help drive me towards my goals. Insecurity increases fear and fear holds you back, most people are too insecure to take the chance on themselves whether it be moving to another country, opening a business, starting a passion project, etc. I could go on but, I will keep this one short. I chose to tell my story, I chose the next chapter in my life, and nothing can hold me back but myself at the end of the day. I wouldn’t waste my energy being scared.