Success Matured Me, Entitlement Kept Me Juvenile

woman in red dress climbing the stairs

Inspired in part by Karine Alourde & Troyce TV


We all fall into the pattern of going to school, doing well in school, getting a scholarship to a great university, and finding your dream job and then living happily ever after… This saturated fantasy is complete bullsh*t. Pardon my language, but, this was the dream sold to myself and my generation. While most followed it, no one studied the subject that they really enjoyed and no one got their dream job. We wake up and realize how unhappy we are and how we didn’t achieve the things that we thought we would… or so that is what is easiest to think about. I broke away from this mindset during the pandemic and realized that although I wish I could have done some things differently in my educational career; I have control over everything I want to do now and I can pave my way to success and not follow the standard formula. 

When I was getting close to graduating university, I was worried that this was the last big moment of success because once I finished school, I knew that I would have to start looking for a serious job… But I kept wondering if that was it. Was this the last big personal milestone? I knew that there were many things that I wanted to do like write a book, run my own company, expand myself creatively but, with the reality of how difficult it is to do all of this on your own without having a lot of money accessible. That’s what I believed until I was offered the chance to write my own book from a close friend who decided to open up their own publishing company. While this was an exciting new challenge and experience, it was going to cost me time and money but, I knew I had a story to share. It took 7 months of working extra hours at my job and hours of editing and translating from English to Spanish; it was some of the most stressful work that I had done since graduating but it was all worth it. By the end of those turbulent 7 months, I could officially say that I was a published author not just because I published my own book but, I went through the ups and downs to get there. There were moments that I thought this could really open so many doors for me and there were moments that I wanted to pull the plug on the whole book. But, I managed to get through and learn along the way how to publish a book and I can’t wait for the next project to come out to show my maturity and growth; learning from previous mistakes that I had made. What is disappointing is that many people do not know or understand this feeling.

To do something and achieve some kind of success, it takes time and dedication. We all went to university so that kind of success fades when you know that everyone did it and you feel less special due to the circumstances. After graduating, many people just work a job and enjoy their vices to hide their disappointment instead of saying “Hey! You know what? I am going to learn how to publish a book! I am going to learn to open up a business! I am going to learn how to speak French and move to France!” Instead, I often hear people complain about how they don’t have opportunities thrown at them or how they deserve opportunities because they did everything “correctly.” The truth is that there is no correct way of doing everything and that’s probably the scariest thing. With no clear definition of what is considered to be success, it is on the person to determine what is successful to them. Whining about how other people are doing things that you want to do whether it be opening up a business, running a YouTube channel, or whatever it may be will not get you anywhere because it takes hard work to get there. It may take weeks, months, or years of understanding a concept to get a step closer to being successful at whatever you are doing. However, in this day and age of instant gratification, why waste our time doing that when we have social media or dating apps to help? Or the help of our parents for that matter for those who were lucky to have parents pay for most of their ambitions. It takes someone having the balls to say that they are going to try something new and see if they succeed or not.

I am in no way saying that I am an insanely successful author, far from the point. But, I do feel a sense of accomplishment knowing that I am capable of doing such a thing and am able to connect with others who have taken this risk as well. There is no reason to not pursue the dreams that you once had before you went to university or started working because no one is going to hold your hand and tell you what to do all the time. It takes a degree of maturity and ambition to become your own teacher and only an unhealthy pattern of complaining and self-indulgent behaviors remain a juvenile child. 

Superbia

man in white crew neck top reaching for the like

The Dopamine Don’t Hit Right


Elements inspired by Tick Tick… Boom

Ive been using again 

I can’t help it

But, I know I shouldn’t 

Every now and then 

When I take it, I can forget every little thing

My failures that feel like a sting 

The emptiness of a one night fling 

But then, I forget the happy affairs 

The light in my heart knowing someone cares

The wave of calm I feel knowing someone is there

It gets hard to tell what is real or not after a while

All the fake love, all the fake smiles

It feels so good, even though I look like a villain 

How can you deny the love of millions?

How can you deny the praise of brilliance?

I keep going back again and again 

Till eventually, I don’t know what’s real in the end

Limbo: A Dialogue

Photo from Unsplash taken by Greg Rakozy


Inspired by real events

Death: Boo!

Me:..

Death: *Evil Laugh*

Me: … Boo!

Death: Why are you not scared? 

Me: Why should I be scared?

Death: Because… everyone is?

Me: Not me

Death: Why?

Me: Because I don’t believe in fearing my fate

Death: Your fate is to die?

Me: Not to die, but to go through the cycle of life. It is not like I can stop it from happening, just like I can’t stop the birds from singing, I can’t stop the waves from crashing back into the sea, and just like I can’t stop a child from climbing and falling off a tree.

Death: Humph. You make me laugh, so many people pass by but it is rare that I hear something like that.

Me: Most people don’t think of it.

Death: They don’t. I don’t. Very few do but, most do not. But, if they did maybe, they would respond differently. 

Me: Maybe

Death: Why do most react the way they do? Such surprise at their own demise. Yet, it is the fate of all, I know it to be true. 

Me: Because most people don’t think about you, to them you are not relevant until their journey ends. By the time you arrive, people realize it is too late to do all the things they said they would do. It’s always pushed to later so why bother and by that time you get the best of what they had to offer.

Death: The best of what they had to offer?

Me: Yes! All their potential, all their dreams, and all their goals.

Death: You make me sound like a bad guy. Maybe I am.

Me: No!

Death: I am, look at me! I come with a smile, eager for those to tell me of their journeys, traveling miles. To see life through a million points of view but, I only know little to a few. That guy who says, “It’s time to go” time to move on, how can you say that’s a good guy?

Me: You are just like birth at the end of the day.

Death: Then who is? Who frames me in such a way?

Me: Fear, he stops us from everything, no matter how small. From love, to expression, and the moments we could have had it all.

Death: It all makes sense now, everyone arrives with their fears and wonders how? As though, I am the one who took it all away. Regret, sadness, all these things are nothing I wish to bestow on anyone.

Me: Maybe there will be a glimmer of hope and as time goes on, as humanity will find ways to cope. To enjoy the cycle of life and say “it wasn’t so bad.” 

Death: It is a bittersweet quality that those who have come by are not scared of fear. A satisfied life is all I wish to see rather than tears.

Me: We have a lot to catch up on in many years.

Death: I look forward to seeing you again, some day. What will you do with your time?

Me: While my journey is not clear, I hope it is filled with adventure, joy, cheer. 

Death: May your life be long and happy… now get out of here!

Utopia: Explained

Photo from Unsplash by Andrey Andreyev


Let us start with an exercise: First, you must close your eyes and clear your head of everything (very similar to meditation). Second, I want you to picture the most peaceful setting on the planet, it may be the mountains, a plain, a small town, or even a big city. Third, I want to think of the people in this peaceful place, how are they interacting with each other? How are they grouped? What are they talking about?. Fourth, I want you to think of outside factors, such as entertainment, social media, and political entities; how are they operating in a peaceful setting? Last, take everything that you just pictured and throw it all away.

For those who were not expecting the last part, I wanted you to imagine a perfect world for just a moment but to also realize that it was all in your head. There is nothing wrong with having a strong desire to have a perfect world, but, the truth is that we do not live in a world that can ever be perfect for everybody. There will always be dissatisfaction to some degree whether it be “The sky is too blue”, “These people chew too loud”, or “I want more money but don’t want to put in the work to get it.” It can very much go back to the classic Yin and Yang that is used in various forms of ancient Chinese philosophy. The idea that opposing forces must exist in some form of duality with one another; peace cannot exist without chaos, love cannot exist without hate, and light cannot exist without darkness. To put it simply, everything that exists in our world will always have an opposite even if you narrow it down to the smallest details. So, why did I title this Utopia: Explained?

Truthfully, I believe that anyone can create their ideal world and life if they really put their minds to it. You do not need to make the world perfect for EVERYONE, you need to make YOUR world perfect for yourself. Sounds a bit selfish? Let me ask you this, do you think everyone in this world cares if you disappeared or if something bad happens to you? Unfortunately, the answer is no but, that is perfectly fine. You were not born to please everyone but, you can however; please those who see the value in you as a person. You do not need a million people to love you, just a few. You do not need a fancy car or a mansion, you just need a simple house or apartment where you can bring the people who matter in your life into your world. The people who are there, the space you make for yourself, and the outside world you choose to surround yourself in whether it be a rural area or a big city, that is the utopia that you have been searching for.

Speaking for myself, I can honestly say that I have 2 or 3 friends that I can genuinely trust, I have family in my life that is encouraging and not toxic, and I WILL live in a place where I feel at peace (not there yet since moving is expensive). I stopped talking to people who cause problems in their own life, people who criticize my endeavors, and go places that make me feel at peace instead of in a mist of chaos AKA clubs, music festivals, etc. Not against the concept but, having been there and done that, I have no interest in that atmosphere anymore. Once you realize that the utopia you are so desperate to create is in your hands rather than tossing the ball to another person to get their input, only then can you truly live in that paradise that you dream to be at. 

Food for thought. 

The Ballerina Paradox

Photo from Unsplash by Wan Chen


It Starts with One Single Step

Once upon a time there was a little girl who wanted to be a ballerina. The average ballerina would spend about 8-10 years to train and become a professional. From the simple 2-3 classes a week, by the time they are midway through their training they are practicing 13-15 times a week at minimum. She knew it would be difficult and she would spend most of her time practicing but, she loved it with all of her heart. Most people can appreciate the elegant ways in which a ballerina can present herself on stage but, they do not think about the years of training, the intense competition that she may have faced, and the pain she feels in her feet every now and then by pushing her to the limit. Nonetheless, she continued to dance, she continued to persevere through it all, and she pushed herself to be the best that she can be. Something so beautiful is born from someone’s ambition and hard work. So with that said, what is the Ballerina Paradox?

Comfort versus Passion

Comfort is one of the primary things that we need for our survival, the basics include: food, shelter, water, sex, and sleep. Fairly straightforward and simple. When we are born, we learn to crawl, walk, and speak the language in our household. We are sent to school where we are taught by our teachers the basics that we will need in order to be successful in society. We are then given the option to go to university or begin working in various fields. We are comfortable in a university setting or a newbie in the workforce because we have someone guiding us and then we eventually get into the flow of things. We are able to provide for ourselves and supply ourselves with things we wish we could have had. With that being said once we have had our comfort, how do we find our passion? The big difference between passion and comfort is that passion requires more self discipline and drive to be an autodidact. The passion comes from the willingness to fail and be your own teacher in the field that you are interested in. No one really wakes up one day and is successful writer, YouTuber, or entrepreneur (they can but, it is an extremely rare exception to the rule); it takes a person a significant amount of failures and years of practice to perfect the thing that makes them smile, that gives them a natural dopamine rush when they see results, that part of them that they are willing to share with the world. 

Dare to Dream

No one is saying that you automatically know what you are passionate about on the spot. It takes a deep dive into your interests and curiosity to truly understand where your passion comes from. Maybe you need to take some time and look through old photos from your childhood to the times that you use to paint, play soccer, or sing in your local choir. Maybe you are going to spend hours looking at videos on YouTube about how to start your own SoundCloud or your own Etsy shop making organic soap (I don’t judge). It takes some trial and error to figure out what you would be willing to sacrifice your time for. Once we discover our passion we then become the ballerina, trying and learning endlessly about how we can improve to be the best at the thing that we love. It just takes hard work, dedication, and the drive to take the risk on yourself. 

That Future Nostalgia

Photo by Travis Yewell on Unsplash


The start of the new decade has put everyone’s mental health in an unpredictable tail spin. With the unknowns of normalcy lingering on everyone’s head, we all need some kind of relief. A possible solution? Taking a trip back in time; back to when things were at its most simple. Whether it be those 80s and 90s TV shows, movies, and music that bring us back or going through an old photo album to bring those carefree moments that the world felt like it was in an equilibrium. While this trip down memory lane may seem like a solution, like anything there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Let’s explore.

Take Me Back 

    Nostalgia is capable of giving us that small kick of relief from the good times that we return back to. Sometimes, we think about that time we took that road trip and got into all kinds of trouble, or we think about that time we celebrated a friend’s birthday and ended up in a VIP area, or we think about that time that we were at that family party with our friends just being happy. Nostalgia has been shown to be beneficial whenever we are going through transitional and traumatic periods in our life; right now has been one of the biggest transitions and while it has made it hard to feel that much needed sentimentality, we can always turn to old entertainment that was there to make us feel carefree. Watching The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Boy Meets World, Sister Sister, Caso Cerrado, or any other show that you watched during your adolescence that gives that warm fuzzy feeling can help you get that emotion going. Your emotional state will become more stabilized with the reassurance of the small things that have helped create the person you are. We are still the kid that won the science fair, that kid who was dancing on their bed to their childhood songs, and the person who gave money to that homeless mother. You can feel how far you have come from the simplest things that have been a part of your growing experience. However, nostalgia can also suck us into the past and make it difficult for us to move forward. 

Too Much of A Good Thing

    While those emotions that are evoked through nostalgia can help us get through our next coming of age chapter, it can prevent us from continuing to write our story. Personal nostalgia and historic nostalgia are two very different things. The personal nostalgia we feel with memories and entertainment is looking back at how far we have come while historic nostalgia can trap us in a completely different chapter in our lives. Historic nostalgia tends to be rereading the same chapter, over and over again. That ideal world that you once lived in, may it be living in another country, college dorm years, or that year you were top in your class; they have passed because you have evolved past that. Our evolution is something to smile about because they consist of a series of memories that we fondly look back on to help motivate us into the future. We need nostalgia at the end of the day to reflect on ourselves but, the temptation of recreating a world that doesn’t exist anymore, it will only hurt you in the end.

Moving Forward   

The best way to describe nostalgia is bittersweet, it is the happy memories that fuel the pleasant emotions and the passing time that makes it so hard to believe the moment has passed. While we need those nostalgic moments in our lives to remind us how wonderful it has been, it helps fuel the greatness we have within ourselves to create more moments of achievements, laughter, and happiness that we can look back and continue to see how we try to be a better version of ourselves everyday. 

Source: The Conversation

IAutism

Photo by Possessed Photography on Unsplash

Can artificial intelligence be the next leading advancement for those with disabilities?

In the year 2021, the world has progressed to help accommodate those who operate in a nuerodiverse manner in society. In fact, progress still continues to this day to help improve their lives from therapy to advanced technology. Currently, science has started to look at a new method to help improve the social & communication skills of those on the spectrum, artificial intelligence. 

Humans have always been social creatures that feed off each other’s energies. For those with autism who experience higher levels of anxiety when interacting with a new person, it can cause social interactions to be extremely difficult; as well as cause problems for them to operate in the workforce. Without a doubt, everyone is slowly becoming aware that artificial intelligence will be integrated into a number of career and education fields. Therefore, taking some of the anxieties that come with human interaction away and allowing new doors to open for those with autism to interact with the world. 

One of the latest technologies that is utilizing artificial intelligence for children with autism is the QTrobot. QTrobot was designed by LuxAI and has a unique built in operating system that can be programmed to suit every child’s needs. With the stigma that comes with nonverbal communication when having human interactions eliminated, QTrobot is able to vividly and clearly display different emotions that help build social skills that can then be applied to real world human interaction. 

Children on the autism spectrum would work alongside the QTrobot & a trained specialist to help them progress at a quicker pace to help them adjust to school and the workplace. QTrobot can also be programmed to help children with autism desensitize from over stimulating situations. To make a personal connection with the use of AI and autism, my own sister has been more inclined to use her verbal communication skills when she has interacted with Amazon’s Alexa, which does whatever she commands it to do which I think she is fascinated with. With this new technology incorporated into early intervention of children with autism, we could accelerate their progression to adjust to society. 

Along with having the assistance of AI that will be implemented in a number of work areas, we can expect more ASD friendly career choices to emerge to give opportunities that we have never seen before. 

Source: Lexi.com