Photo from Unsplash by Toa Heftiba
Due to my utter neglect of my website and turning 25, I will start off my new year going around the Earth with the lessons that I have learned (again you don’t have to take my advice, do whatever you want, I am just some chick on the internet)
- Emotional Intelligence is Key
This is something that is a day by day skill to build on, what is worth my emotional well-being? Will the reaction that I give matter or make an impact in the situation that I am presented with? Why do I feel the way I do? Is there a bigger meaning behind this? Instead, I am going to take a moment to feel my emotional response and then better understand it before I feel the need to do something.
- Laugh at Yourself More
Honestly, life is too short to not laugh enough at everything. We all mess up, we all don’t get it right all the time, and we all fall down. The best way to handle it, is to laugh it off and move on because that was the past and now you can move on and enjoy the present.
- Failure Doesn’t Mean That I am a Failure
This was one of the hardest things to accept in a world that is so often consumed with perfectionism. If you don’t know something, you don’t do something right the first time around, then by default I shouldn’t bother anymore. This just leads to not learning or trying to become better at a craft. I am taking my time to write a book series rather than pump out book by book to make bank. I want to be a better writer little by little and the same goes for anything else I do. When I first started fencing in college, I will be honest, I was horrible and was lucky to win a match but, through hard work and determination, I managed to win 12 out 15 matches by my senior year. I also tried to make a vintage shop at some point but realized I did not have the passion to continue it, I just like clothes! Failure is the stepping stone to discover how much you are willing to commit to something to become better. (Check out my article The Ballerina Paradox for more info)
- The World Owes Me Nothing
This is a controversial one… but it has to be said. A lot of people walk around with this entitlement that because they went to university, they were top in their class, or that they have a million followers that they should be given everything they want on the spot. The truth is life is unfair, I will not argue that but, you can either walk around having a tantrum for the rest of your life or try to make your own situation better through education, becoming an autodidact, asking for help when you need it. The only thing you owe yourself is to become the best version of yourself by whatever means possible.
- Someone Will Always Have Something I want, and I will Always Have Something That Someone Else Wants
Need me say more? Everyone likes to throw the term privilege around all too much and often look at the things they don’t have and lack appreciation for the things that they do have. It’s a normal feeling to have some kind of envy but, remember the things that you do have that have helped you thus far because there is at least someone out there that would kill to have what you have.
- Self-Discipline Sucks… But it is Worth It
*sigh* This is part of being an adult and how you know that you are transitioning from dumb adolecence to adult. We can’t indulge and have fun all the time even though we all wish we could. Realizing time management and when to have fun and go to grind sounds like common sense but, trust me, it’s hard. I would love to stay up all night watching YouTube, video chatting with my friends, or playing video games but, I need to get 7-8 hours of sleep to function better so not tonight. If you need to find a better night time routine, find the things that make you calm and relaxed like ASMR, reading a book, listening to rain, or letting oils make the room more relaxing. In general, please try to know when to say no to things you REALLY want to do.
- Moving Forward Means Leaving the Past Behind
This is one of the most emotional lessons. Coming from a generation that emphasised how we need to keep everyone in our life no matter what because family, friends, and romantic relationships are everything. However, sometimes as you are growing up and trying to be a better version of yourself, the people used to associate grow toxic. Growing means leaving bad habits, bad behaviors behind and sometimes the people you care about dont want to let them go. Let them go, maybe your absence will help them start to grow, and you can find a way back to each other again. You come first.
- It’s not that I don’t have Enough Time, I have a Limited Amount of Time
tImE Is A sOcIAl CoNStruCt, I had to do it, but it is true. At the end of the day, the universe will go on and on forever with or without the human race. We as people only have a certain amount of years on Earth, we all will die eventually, however; the circumstances of our death are unknown. We don’t know when, where, and how we will die, but acknowledging the inevitable helps drive the desire to live.
- Don’t Follow the Crowd, Dare to Stand Out
In the age of internet culture, it often feels like you are seeing the same thing over and over again until you feel your brain go numb. I used to share things because everyone was saying the same thing rather than researching or questioning the things that I was seeing. I was blindly following something because everyone else was doing it. Now, I realized that just because something is wildly popular doesn’t mean that I have to go along with it, I should know myself and explore different ideas and concepts to keep my mind open and constantly gain new knowledge.
- Books are Better Than Social Media
Ever since the new year, I have given up a large amount of time that I use to spend on social media reading different books ranging from philosophy to financial literacy. To be honest, I never really knew how to use social media. When you are given a good book and some quiet time, it lets you sit and take in the information rather than being hit with something every 5 seconds on social media. Take some time away from the constant information or glamour of social media to just read a book.
- “All the World’s a Stage and All Men and Women are Merely Players”
Quoted by the famous William Shakespeare and ties into the previous point which is to take time away from social media because most of it is fake. What started as a source to post funny and random things has escalated to a platform to show how amazing your life is and brag about yourself. If people don’t get a like, share, or follow someone when they post something, they don’t have the justification of what they believed they are and it can damage their self-esteem. Most of the time it’s a show and not reality, with all honesty, I would not have social media if it wasn’t for connecting with people in my field and friends I have abroad. Now, I have made social media a casual mode of promoting things that I do and trying to post relatable things to not be dependent on it for my own emotional health.
- Comfort Kills Ambition
One of my favorite phrases is also from an interview I did (link here). There is a reason the comfort zone exists, you retreat there when you need to recharge your battery. Leaving the comfort zone exposes you to new possibilities, interests, ideas, and experiences. While at times it can be very uncomfortable that is usually the biggest sign of growth. I have lived in a few different places in the world and each place has had its own pros and cons, however; I do not have any regrets from those experiences because I grew as a person. Don’t be afraid to take the chance on the scary decision.
- Your Parents Weren’t Superheroes But, They Tried To Be
This was pretty hard to cope with; the reality is that being a parent is playing this God-like role of making a child see life through this rose colored lens while carrying all the anxiety of the world on your shoulders so your child doesn’t have to deal with it. You can feel the change once you realize that your parents were just human beings like you; trying to do their best everyday. However, it can make you appreciate the things that they did for you because whether it be mental and financial, they did struggle at some point to keep a smile on your face.
- Not Every Problem in the World is Yours and That’s Fine, Just Be a Good Person
While most people can agree on basic moral values, we all can’t solve every problem in the world. There will always be something wrong because we live in a perfectly imperfect world, there will always be a problem or some dramatic event that will stir the pot. The best thing I can do in the end is try to be the best version of myself and focus on those who are directly linked to me and how I can impact their lives.
- Write it Down so You Never Forget
This is just a simple tip from someone who journals a lot, it’s always great to record your thoughts, ideas, and plans so you have an easy place to access something if you forget it. We all forget things every now and then, to give yourself less anxiety or regret, just write it down; make your life easier.
- Drama is For Nerds
Drama at this point is for people who study a situation with the same energy levels they should have for any test they have in class. If something doesn’t involve you directly, just stay away from it, it is not worth it, save your energy for better things that will benefit you in the future.
- Take What Makes You Insecure and Make it Your Bitch
This is a phrase that I have been living by to help drive me towards my goals. Insecurity increases fear and fear holds you back, most people are too insecure to take the chance on themselves whether it be moving to another country, opening a business, starting a passion project, etc. I could go on but, I will keep this one short. I chose to tell my story, I chose the next chapter in my life, and nothing can hold me back but myself at the end of the day. I wouldn’t waste my energy being scared.