Utopia: Explained

Photo from Unsplash by Andrey Andreyev


Let us start with an exercise: First, you must close your eyes and clear your head of everything (very similar to meditation). Second, I want you to picture the most peaceful setting on the planet, it may be the mountains, a plain, a small town, or even a big city. Third, I want to think of the people in this peaceful place, how are they interacting with each other? How are they grouped? What are they talking about?. Fourth, I want you to think of outside factors, such as entertainment, social media, and political entities; how are they operating in a peaceful setting? Last, take everything that you just pictured and throw it all away.

For those who were not expecting the last part, I wanted you to imagine a perfect world for just a moment but to also realize that it was all in your head. There is nothing wrong with having a strong desire to have a perfect world, but, the truth is that we do not live in a world that can ever be perfect for everybody. There will always be dissatisfaction to some degree whether it be “The sky is too blue”, “These people chew too loud”, or “I want more money but don’t want to put in the work to get it.” It can very much go back to the classic Yin and Yang that is used in various forms of ancient Chinese philosophy. The idea that opposing forces must exist in some form of duality with one another; peace cannot exist without chaos, love cannot exist without hate, and light cannot exist without darkness. To put it simply, everything that exists in our world will always have an opposite even if you narrow it down to the smallest details. So, why did I title this Utopia: Explained?

Truthfully, I believe that anyone can create their ideal world and life if they really put their minds to it. You do not need to make the world perfect for EVERYONE, you need to make YOUR world perfect for yourself. Sounds a bit selfish? Let me ask you this, do you think everyone in this world cares if you disappeared or if something bad happens to you? Unfortunately, the answer is no but, that is perfectly fine. You were not born to please everyone but, you can however; please those who see the value in you as a person. You do not need a million people to love you, just a few. You do not need a fancy car or a mansion, you just need a simple house or apartment where you can bring the people who matter in your life into your world. The people who are there, the space you make for yourself, and the outside world you choose to surround yourself in whether it be a rural area or a big city, that is the utopia that you have been searching for.

Speaking for myself, I can honestly say that I have 2 or 3 friends that I can genuinely trust, I have family in my life that is encouraging and not toxic, and I WILL live in a place where I feel at peace (not there yet since moving is expensive). I stopped talking to people who cause problems in their own life, people who criticize my endeavors, and go places that make me feel at peace instead of in a mist of chaos AKA clubs, music festivals, etc. Not against the concept but, having been there and done that, I have no interest in that atmosphere anymore. Once you realize that the utopia you are so desperate to create is in your hands rather than tossing the ball to another person to get their input, only then can you truly live in that paradise that you dream to be at. 

Food for thought. 

The Psychology of the Underdog

Photo by DISRUPTIVO on Unsplash

They have always had the odds stacked against them but, when push comes to shove, they always keep trying their best; the underdog knows that their chances of victory are small but, for them they just need to know that they have a chance to keep going. We have seen this is a number of tv shows and movies. They have a sense of optimism and positivity knowing that they can only get better given their circumstances. This can sometimes lead to them feeling like they need to live up to an idea of perfectionism, which can make them heavily rely on vices to cope with these feelings. And when they are at their best, they are hardworking, appreciative, and confident in everything they do. This is a brief overview of the modern-day underdog and how we all can relate to them.

The underdog usually comes from a rough, disadvantaged background such as the result of a teenage pregnancy, an undocumented family, family with little to no financial stability, etc. We see this on tv shows like Shameless with characterLip Gallagher born to two parents who are addicts, raised by his older sister; and characters like Amy from Superstore who is a college dropout turned teen mom. This is also present in biographical movies such as Cinderella Man and Selena They try to make the best of with what they have since they have had to be resourceful most of their life. Selena designed her own outfits for shows due to the lack of funds in her family. Lip would take the SAT’s for fellow classmates if they paid the price to help pay the bills. Their families are often their biggest supporters because they hold the potential of the entire family, everything that individual members could have achieved is placed on them. This makes them the role model or shining star of the family because they are the one who has the chance to change the path for those will come after them.

Most underdogs have huge ambitions; they crave the desire to want more out of life knowing that they have an opportunity to start over. They aren’t just trying to prove something to the masses but, to themselves. This is why their failures are considered catastrophic in their heads, any small mistake can make them feel like they are 10 steps back. Perfectionism can consume them to an unhealthy point. They can often come off as humble, generous, and observant. An excellent example would be the kind and sweet nature that the late Selena Quintanilla was known for to all of her fans and those that encountered her. Always wanting to be “accessible” to those who needed her, even inviting fans on stage to dance with her. They are the friend that will be there for you through hard times and listen to you; sometimes even allowing themselves to be vulnerable to help comfort others. Small acts of kindness are their specialty; attempting to make the world a little more compassionate. They try to be the best at everything whether it be a student, friend, athlete, employee, etc. However, this can cause them to break at a certain point and derail the progress that they have made.

Due to the pressures they put on themselves to succeed because of their background and society, the underdog can dabble in behaviors that can be considered unstable and/or dangerous. This can be heavily due to Roy Baumeister’s Escape Theory; in which an individual engages in behaviors to help them flee the negative perceptions they may have of themselves. They may suffer from mental illness that they often ignore to keep pushing forward and then have difficulty getting out of bed or going to sleep knowing that their main purpose is to solely work hard to become society’s version of successful. Some individuals may turn to alcohol, sex, and drugs as vices in life to alleviate the pressure of perfection they have built into themselves. The high that they start to depend on from sex, drugs, and alcohol can contribute to the digress of their progress and thus dive into more destructive behavior. Take Lip’s spiral in college in season 6 as he begins to drink throughout the day and begin an affair with one of his professors even becoming a cuckolder. Due to the pressures to keep up his grades and maintain a clean record, he ultimately gets himself kicked out of college after his actions catch up to him. A different high that the person relies on is power and control over their life they had been seeking even if it involves turning their backs on the people that supported them from the beginning. This is seen in Superstore’s Amy who begins to jeopardize the staff’s chances of starting a union once she is appointed manager in fear of losing her position. They start to embody the qualities of those who looked down on others like them; sometimes without realizing it. As Will Smith once said, “Don’t let failing go to your heart and don’t let success go to your head.” This can eventually this can lead to them having a lonely life with people who may not genuinely liking them for who they are rather than the ones who cheered them on when they had nothing.

Despite the number of obstacles that they have had, the underdog has goals, confidence, and optimism that we could all use. They are motivated to try to become achieve their full potential. This could be due to motivational psychology theory Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs which states that once we achieve our basic needs of safety, access to food and water, as well as intimate relationships, we desire to reach the peak of our potential through self-actualization. They know that they can only go up from where they started and appreciate each accomplishment they earn as they have had to fight to prove themselves. In a way, they represent the anxieties of the upper class; take for instance Cinderella Man; James was a rising boxing star about to take down the champion of the world, Max Baer. Upon meeting at a dinner party, Baer attempts to intimidate James by insisting he not even bother fighting him because he will kill him in the ring having killed two other men during previous matches. Being knocked down from their high status by someone lower than them ultimately strikes fear in top dog knowing how fragile their rank is. But further proving that anyone can raise above

The underdog has always been seen as the least threatening person in the room but, in recent years they are starting to be seen as the person most likely to succeed. The underdog embraces being the underdog because they wouldn’t be who they are without their background. The general public loves to see a breakout story which is why there have been movies made about these people. They try to have a good head on their shoulders and see things in positive but, realistic way. To a certain extent, the underdog symbolizes our own struggles to be the best versions of ourselves and reach our full potential in society even when we have the odds stacked against us. And their confidence? That just makes them sexy.

Gringafied

I am the granddaughter of a Dominican immigrant who was born and raised in the city of Santo Domingo, who left behind everything she knew to chase her dreams in America.

I am the granddaughter of Puerto Ricans who left behind an economic disaster in hopes for a better life in the city that never sleeps.

I grew up knowing how to dance because my family always knew how to throw a party with our brugal or coquito.

I grew up cleaning the house every Sunday even when I wanted to be lazy and do nothing.

I grew up having Vapo rub and sancocho whenever I was sick because my family believed that was the magic cure.

I grew up watching all my tíos play dominos without me until I turned 15-years-old and was finally allowed to play.

I grew up having a mini identity crisis whenever I had to fill out a form that said, “Despite what you have just answered, please fill out what is your race.”

I grew up loving the New York Yankees, screaming from the bleachers every summer with my dad.

I grew up knowing how to refill my metro card in under a minute before the train leaves my station.

I grew up hearing “It’s showtime!” on the train before street dancers start performing and I duck in cover in hopes of not getting hit.

I grew up knowing to go to the food carts that sell halal and to never get anything at the hot dog stands.

I grew up thinking I was going to be Kim Possible one day, save people from mass destruction and be a badass.

I also grew up learning English as my primary language to assimilate to American society, which is why my Spanish sounds “funny.”

I grew up straightening my hair so that way I could avoid having “messy” and “unprofessional” hair.

I grew up giving myself anxiety about my grades at 13-years-old because I felt like I had constantly had to prove something to American society.

I also grew up having to show the other Hispanic kids what my dad looked like in order to prove that I was really Dominican.

I grew up confused about why the Puerto Rican kids and the Dominican kids would start fighting each other when I was Puerto Rican and Dominican.

I grew up hearing “why don’t you speak Spanish?” or whenever I did speak Spanish, I would hear “You sound so white.”

Make no mistake with my identity, I am Puerto Rican and Dominican but, I also am American. I am the embodiment of 3 distinct cultures, I cannot be one without being the other.

But isn’t that what being Latino is all about? The embodiment of different cultures?

The embodiment of our indigenous ancestors, the connection to our African roots and the history we share with the Iberian Peninsula.

Or have we become consumed with this narrow criteria of being Latino that we have forgotten that?

Every day I continue to wake up, look in the mirror and be proud to be Latino, proud to represent Latinos in America.

And although I may not meet the standards to be Latino, you can never take away that part of my identity.